


Addict Love

by Nudebeme



Series: Chac and Cicero [23]
Category: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: Angst, Dom/sub, Drugs, Extremely Dubious Consent, M/M, Rape/Non-con Elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-03
Updated: 2014-11-06
Packaged: 2018-02-24 00:21:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2561150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nudebeme/pseuds/Nudebeme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Listener shouldn't be doing this, he had a greater calling in life...but now he's invited Cicero into his home and there's the smell of Skooma in the air. It is this night that Chac pushes the edges of Cicero's unwavering obedience to him. Triggers for rape & violence.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Force

**Author's Note:**

> Written for an anon request to see Chac force himself on Cicero while high on Skooma

Cicero never understood addicts. Why throw all of your time and money into something that hurls your mind into a torrent of madness? Even if it was pleasurable? He's not a young man, he's seen his share of Skooma-heads in both Cyrodiil and Skyrim, and it never failed to perplex him.

 

“Are you sure you don't want to do it with me?”

 

“No thank you, Listener. Cicero is quite crazy enough.” There's no way in Oblivion Cicero would _want_ to addle his already sick mind with such powerful drugs. He never has, and he never will. 

 

“Are you absolutely sure? It smells divine.” Again the Listener asked, setting up an elaborate water pipe on the ground of his Falkreath manor, before a fire that'd only just started to burn. 

 

“No, no and no.” Cicero crossed his arms, and he didn't want this to happen..he'd never seen his Listener on anything this hard, and he never wanted to, but he couldn't change the elf's will. He only hopes that Chac wouldn't get...well..crazy. It was a stupid thing to wish for. 

 

“Well alright, you're missing out. You see, drugs don't make you crazy, Cicero. Living makes you crazy. The drugs helped me see that.” Chac wasted no time in packing the sugary substance into his pipe, with the delicacy of a surgeon. Cicero stared all the while, a frown forming and his brow furrowed- oh Sithis, here it comes. He didn't like the uncertainty of it all- the Listener wasn't exactly a stable mind, himself. He killed at the drop of a hat and his anger could be totally unchained should anything happen..

 

“Ah, urrm...Cicero has to agree with you, but he doesn't see the point in the escape, life always comes back.. _whether you want it to or not..”_ Cicero singsonged, in a vain attempt to get the Listener to stop what he was about to do to himself. His mad heart fills with worry at the thought of his leader addling his mind when he had Listening to do. He couldn't see how Mother would approve of this at all.

 

“I think it's worth the trouble. Well, let's see if this batch is any good..I haven't flown with the dragons in a dog's age.” Without another word he brings a flame to the powder, and Cicero sees the way it catches and begins to crackle. A thick whisp of white smoke floats towards him and he holds his breath, while Chac inhales deeply. The elf let his eyes drift shut, and soon he's awaiting the familiar feeling of release..an escape from reality. 

 

Cicero gulped. Chac went for his second deep inhale and he blew the smoke in thick rings towards the ceiling..and then he smiled. Bit by bit the room grew softer, and Chac's head is swimming in a pleasurable buzz. He clenches and unclenches his fists, staring soon at his open palms in a state of wonder. 

 

“Oh. Oh there it is, Y'ffre.” He curses, and suddenly his head bows down low, dreads falling into his lap. In Chac's mind now there was nothing but joy, his memories wiped and his body feeling at one with the spirits around him. There was only him now in his world, grown dark. “Don't worry,” He starts, drawling “I'll be out in a minute.” 

 

Cicero could only watch as his Listener went from being the statuesque elf he was to becoming limp as a dead fish. Every muscle in Chac's body seemed to go flaccid and the madman could only imagine what was going through Chac's mind right now. 

 

“Listener?”

 

“Hahaha, Here I am. Where else would I be? There?” Chac looks up from his drunken haze and Cicero could make out the faint trail of drool down his chin- oh _no._ Chac's head fell and he said nothing for a dramatically long time, making the Imperial consider taking a walk to get away. He didn't like seeing the man he loved and revered to be brought down to nothing but a drooling idiot. It wasn't right.

 

Chac reveled, motionless for what seems like a lifetime..he was too high to even speak, let alone entertain his worried lover. Cicero merely sat at his side until he began to come to, the elf's eyes locking with his own and utterly transfixed. He stared at Cicero mouth agape until he brightens up. 

 

“I think it's time to dance. You want to dance?”

 

whoa, was all Cicero could think. 

 

“Oh Listener we _could_ , but we have no music to dance to.” Cicero always did love to dance, but right now all he could feel was crippling awkwardness.

 

“I'll make my own, come come let's go!” Chac pushes himself up to stand in a sudden display of dexterity, the entire room spinning around him yet his lover remaining perfectly still. He stumbled backwards and Cicero leaps up to steady him “I'll sing us a song, one you're going to _love!_ ” 

 

Chac grabs Cicero's hands tightly -too tightly- and begins to swing them back and forth, dragging the Imperial along the floor with him. Cicero yelps in shock, being tossed this way and that ...the elf was normally a good dancer, but tonight he was no better than a horse in the throes of death.

 

“AGH! L-Listener hold on a m-”

 

“ _Let's forget about our hate,_

_Expand our love and we'll sing_

_There's a better place out there_

_There where our love is great”_

 

Chac sang out in a stupor, knocking chairs out of the way as he forced the Imperial to dance along with him, ducking and dodging furniture all the while. Chac flung his head side to side, and Cicero felt the slap of his beaded dreads along his cheeks. “Buh, wait a minute! OUCH you- you're being very rough, Listener!”

 

“ _ooooOOOOHH There's a better place!_ ” Chac sings, his once-amazing voice now broken and off tune, Cicero not having his hands available to cover his ears. The elf stops all at once, releasing Cicero's hands, now red and bruised. He smiled from ear to ear, a very wicked smile, and gazed at Cicero as if he had turned into an ecstatic little boy.

 

“This is fun, isn't it? Goodbye!” and like that, Chac was out the door. The shoeless elf bolts into the courtyard of his home, Cicero chasing after him and out of breath “Where are you going! Listener! No wait come back!” He wasn't used to this, being the more sane of the two.. Chac was a fierce elf and chasing him down and dragging him home was going to be hard work.

 

By the time Cicero ran into the forest, he'd lost sight of the elf. Snow was all around him, and all at once Cicero decided he was having a bad time. Moments went by where he considered simply waiting until he comes back- but poor crazy Listener was too high to help himself. He needed Cicero's help!

 

“Listener!!” He calls out, winds whipping at his loose hair “Come out come out wherever you are! Cicero has a treat for you!” He wished he had a bell he could jingle to call the elf back home, but no. The Imperial stumbled around in the driving snow until he was sure the elf was gone for good.

 

And then, with a terrifying shriek, he is taken down.

 

“HAAaaa!” Chac screams like a hawk, throwing his entire self into Cicero and sending them both crashing into the snowy soil- Cicero landed underneath him, the elf's solid frame crushing his. Cicero lets out a gurgle of pain, looking up to see the elf wildly staring him down, his eyes bulging. “Didn't think you'd get away from _me_ nowdidyou?” He asks, leaning down and planting a cold and wet kiss on Cicero's cheek.

 

“Muh..Oh, so the Listener ran out here simply to hunt Cicero like a pig?” He asks, unresponsive to his affection. Chac shook his head vigorously and brought himself to stand, drugs coursing through his mind and body making him incredibly restless. But he felt so alive, and seeing his tiny lover made him yearn to play even more.

 

“So why DID you come out here?”

  
“WantedtogetyoucoldsoIcouldwarmyouup..” Chac's words sped up into one jumble, reaching down and pulling his irked friend up to stand. Cicero understood just enough of it to know they'd be going back inside..he smiled in relief. At least one thing's gotten better about this.

 

“Ah, erm..” Cicero is led by the hand roughly to the house once again, walking back indoors as if none of that chase ever happened. Cicero shivers, shaking snow off his expensive black coat, and he couldn't help but watch Chac's feet as he walked barefoot along the tiles, his legs covered in snow-how did he not feel the cold? Was he that high?

 

“Well this is much better, isn't it Listener? Now we can just have a nice sit around the fire and-”

 

“Fire. Fire...fire fire. _Fooiyah_.” Chac drawled, staring distantly at the open firepit. Cicero gulped again and nodded, taking his Listeners hand and leading him carefully to sit, but the elf wouldn't sit.

 

“Yes, the fire. Let's not get any crazy ideas now, okay?”

 

“Hahaa, you calling _me_ crazy? Youmustbeoutofyourmiind.” 

 

Cicero didn't really like hearing that, but no, sweet Listener is just drugged..he doesn't mean the things he does or says. Still, the elf wouldn't sit..he was now transfixed on Cicero's face. And what he saw through his drugged eyes pleased him very much, he'd grown to appreciate the strange sort of beauty he was, but now it's as if he was flawless.. His red hair was all the more vibrant, his painted eyes so full of madness and all of the drugs he took made every one of his favorite features simply pop. 

 

“...” Cicero felt his eyes everywhere, and was clueless as to what he could be thinking “-You're looking at Cicero as if he's been turned inside out! What's on your mind, Listener?” 

 

“You're fucking beautiful.” He slurs, reaching up and running blazing hot fingertips down Cicero's throat, so smooth. The touch of his skin felt so otherworldly and silken. It was at that moment Cicero started to get nervous... Chac's eyes where on him and all around him, Cicero stuttered before he could find anything to say. 

 

“Why thank you, from the bottom of my heart.” The Listener didn't tear away though, and soon both of his bare hands where on his cheeks, running slowly down his jaw and to his throat to the point where Cicero thought he was going to be strangled. 

 

“So _so_ fucking beautiful.” Chac repeats himself, and in his mind there is now only one thing he wanted to do. He didn't need a moment more to think the more he looked at his petite lover. “There's something I want to shooow you, Cicero.” 

 

“What would that b-AAGH!” Cicero was hauled up into the elf's arms and over his shoulder like a side of beef, the Imperial scrambling for purchase “Now wait a minute Listener, Cicero has something to say!” Cicero is carried by the strong elf into the master bedroom, with the bed in plain sight Cicero thought he was going to have to slap some sense into him..but he couldn't do that. 

 

“You make so much noise. Why all the noise?” Chac sighs, throwing Cicero onto the bed and he lands with a big bounce, the Imperial scrambling back on the bed with wide eyes. This wasn't something he was looking forward to, the elf was being so very rough with poor Cicero..but he's never denied the elf sex in the past, and part of him thinks he wont be able to tonight. Still, a panic flared in his heart and Cicero just had to let him know. 

 

“Fuhh! I don't think this is a good idea, not at all! _No no no_!” 

 

Chac reaches down and grabs Cicero's booted feet, feeling them kick briefly before he drags the little man by his shoes to the edge of the bed. Sluggish fingers work the laces to his boots and soon Cicero is watching his feet be disrobed “Don't worry, my sweet. I'm going to take good care of you.” The way he said that, oh, it was like a murderer's promise. Cicero normally would have gotten aroused by it, but now he just feared what was inevitably coming. 

 

“..and by that I mean I'm fucking you.” Chac adds, and Cicero's heart was throttled in his chest- soon the elf was reaching for his expensive pants, tugging roughly in a drugged attempt to get him naked. Cicero saw the obvious tent in the elf's pants, and was amazed at how he was even able to get it hard amid the haze of drugs he put himself in. Cicero's sick mind ran miles a minute, but came to the staggering realization that he wasn't going to fight the elf off. He couldn't. He didn't want it, but he couldn't.

 

“Be gentle, Listener?” 

 

Chac's handiwork leaves Cicero entirely nude now from the hips down, the elf staring in hunger at the man's lovely legs which he simply had to grab. Cicero yelped and gripped hard onto the blankets, feeling his knees being spread so that the Listener could invite himself between them, a playful smile on the elf's lips. “So pretty.” He moans, leaning forward and kissing Cicero's cheek while he undid the man's jacket, ripping it open and buttons flying.

 

“Mmmm...” Cicero moaned nervously, closing his eyes so he wouldn't have to see what was happening, the expensive clothing that the elf bought for him being muscled off so hard that they tore on his elbows. He knew the Listener loved him, and that he was only showing it in strange ways because he was crazy too... Cicero tried to find reasons to forgive him. Chac was kissing his throat, now his chest, his hard scruff etching along the Imperial's sweet white skin and leaving it red in his wake. 

The elf grabbed Cicero by his scarred wrists and pinned them beside his head, Chac snarling lowly as if he where a hungry beast. Cicero's eyes flew open and stared the scant inches between them..Listener looked scary. This wasn't where he wanted to be, but he felt his own legs lift up and wrap around the Chac's waist, and it made the drugged elf grin, leaning in and kissing the man who tried his hardest to play along. Chac's tongue penetrated his closed lips and it was so unloving, the way it violated his mouth with sluggish, greedy thrusts. Cicero winced, his tongue daring to fight back before the elf's grip on his wrists gets all the more tight.

 

“Stay.” Chac ordered in between kisses, planting Cicero's hands over his head before letting them go, the obedient madman keeping his promise and remaining still. Chac's hungry mouth kissed lower and lower, over his hairless chest, capturing one of his pink nipples and biting hard enough to wrench a cry from Cicero's throat. The man's legs tightened around Chac, pain never bothered Cicero but Sithis, he really had no idea how rough he was being. Chac looked at first indifferent to the fact that Cicero was completely flaccid, he reached in with his mouth and suckled on the Imperial's hipbone. His hand rolled Cicero's limp cock around and around, a vain attempt to get him hard which obviously didn't work... the prone man bit his lip and expected the Listener to grow angry any second now. 

 

“I'll get you going, just wait.” Chac moans, lowering his head over Cicero's hips and taking it entirely into his mouth, rolling his wet and hot tongue in circles over Cicero's foreskin. _That_ felt good, a shock of surprising pleasure climbing up his body the more the elf sucked. Cicero tried his hardest to concentrate on that feeling, to get lost in the moment and hopefully this feeling of dread would leave him. “mmm...” He lets himself moan, to let his Listener know that maybe this could be something they could both enjoy. Maybe. 

 

And it started to work. Chac's mouth made magic happen despite Cicero's anxiety, and his cock fills out, standing on it's own and looking so attractively red. Listener smiled, kissed him all over, and in that moment Cicero finds safety. He smiled, too.

 

It was the worst thing he could have done. Chac found him beautiful, and was reminded of the only thing he wanted right now. Getting up to his knees, he takes Cicero's body and flips him over, hearing a sexy little yelp come from him- but the Imperial's comfort was now gone. So this was it then? Cicero thought, obediently raising his ass into the air with his legs spread like he's done so many times before. The stoned elf enjoyed the sight, he reaches in and parts the ginger's ass to see his pretty pink hole, the dearth of body hair between his legs. It was so nice having such a lithe body to contrast the thick and hairy man he married.

 

“..Just be gentle, Listener..I beg you.” _Fuck_ , that was it. Cicero always played such the little tart, so submissive and sweet when he wanted to be. Chac needed to fuck him and it was going to be however he wanted it- he knew Cicero liked it hard, despite what he begs in that epicene little voice of his. Chac took out his cock and spat generously into his palm, working a rough hand over it while Cicero peeked over and watched. 

 

Cicero's entire body went stiff when he could feel Chac's cock rub against his hole, unprepared and tight as can be. The madman buried his eyes into the blanket and bit down on the cloth when he could feel the elf breach past his pucker- and then all at once Chac decided he wasn't going to wait. He thrusts his hips forward hard, plunging into the tight little heaven that was Cicero. The scream he let out then thrilled Chac's ears, and made him eagerly seek more of his heat, his cock penetrating him deeper by inches at a time. Not 3 seconds later, he's fucking Cicero  _hard._

 

“LISTENER!Ah! AHH! You can't DO THAT!” Cicero screams with everything he has, breaking free from Chac's grip and his entire body jolting forward on the bed to dislodge the elf from his body- the pain was too tremendous, he couldn't take it. His entire body curled up in pain and Cicero is panting hard.. Chac's cock was streaked in blood, but the high elf saw little reason to worry. He merely climbed up the bed to where Cicero lay in agony, red trails running down the cheek of his ass. The sight of him curled there, at his mercy again, it did horrible things to him. 

 

“Fucking get over here.” He demands, spreading Cicero's legs apart and entering him again with a ravenous snarl. Cicero's voice cracks as he cries out, his hands clambering along the bed to hold himself still while the elf fucks him so hard he threatened to black out. Cicero's vision flickers in and out, but his body was stronger than that- he takes it and takes it until Chac's hips are slamming against his ass with every thrust.

 

 

He didn't bother to hold back the screams, poor Cicero close to wailing as his hole is ravaged. He could do little more than endure, listening the wild seething breath of the elf behind him as he...he hurts him. Cicero's cock goes soft once again, the man finds no pleasure in whatever  _this_ was. Cicero reels in the pain, Chac above him snarling while listening to the attractive anguish in his cries. Fucking him felt amazing, Skooma making the sweat misting on Cicero's back simply sparkle- it was then he decided he wanted to  _see_ him. Chac's hips come to a stop, and Cicero peeks behind him, panting harshly “Guh..Oh..Listener.” He started, voice broken with pain “You're being too-”

 

“Turn around.” Chac pulls himself out, Cicero landing in a pile on the bed. His cheeks are stained red and his entire core aching with agony. Chac reached down and flipped the limp man over, Cicero simply giving up. His legs are soon around the elf again, Cicero having no other choice but to look into the elf's eyes as he was abused.

 

“Are you _enjoying_ yourself?” Cicero spat, letting the Listener see just how much he hurt- Chac didn't seem to notice. What he said next just knocked Cicero for a loop.

 

“No more words, princess.” the drugged elf said, and it took all of Cicero's willpower not to reach up and punch him in the mouth. Chac reached down and ran his hot fingertips over Cicero's lips, and the Imperial turned his head hard to avoid him. The oblivious elf wasted little time, spreading Cicero's bloodied ass apart and finding his warmth again. Cicero held back his scream when the thick elf penetrated him deep, his entire body moving up on the bed from his thrust.

 

Cicero settled to simply lay on his back, yelping softly in tune with his Listener's violent rhythm. Chac's hands roamed the Imperial's thighs, gazing down at the beautiful sight of Cicero's softer body bouncing, how flushed his chest and lips became. He simply had no mind to notice the agony on his features, his cock completely limp. Pleasure was climbing in Chac's body bit by bit, but there was something growing numb..the drugs taking their effect. Chac fucked him for long, hard minutes, as hard as he could.. the pain never once lessening in Cicero's mind. He just wished to Sithis that it would stop, he's had enough. 

 

Chac climbed over the man, curling him up with his ass in the air. The elf's cock drilled into him from above, dreads falling all around Cicero, sweat from Chac's brow dripping onto his own. Cicero stared at the face of the man he loves, but only feels an overwhelming urge to hurt him- he reaches up and takes Chac's head by the hair and pulls it roughly, forcing the elf to throw his head back. He pulled and pulled, but Chac only seemed to find pleasure in it, his sharp breaths turning into pleasured moans. “Fuck yeah,” Chac growls “Harder.” And Cicero thinks he's found his way out.. he yanks on the elf's dreads so roughly that it staggers Chac's rhythm, bringing him closer to the edge. Cicero cries out in pain, feeling his cock violate him even harder- he just prayed that it would end soon, so thankful it was almost over.

 

“Uuughn, you little _tart!_ ” Chac roars, bucking hard twice more before his hips still, filling Cicero with cum while the Imperial let out his final wail. Cicero could feel the painful sting of his seed flooding into his injured body, and he let his arms drop with a thud onto the bed. There he lay motionless, eyes staring stark into Chac's face who looked so damn satisfied it enraged him. Cicero grew more and more angry until the Listener found it right to pull out, peeking down to see the Imperial's hole open, pink cum leaking down his cleft.

 

“Lovely, as always. Cicero, you've made my night.” Chac leans back, and that is when Cicero decides to jab him in the gut with his heel. “-ufh!” Chac looked completely clueless, holding his hands up in defense “Oh don't be a baby.” Something inside his fucked up mind told Chac that what he'd done was wrong, but he couldn't even fathom believing it right now. 

 

“Just!!..Listener...go away.” Cicero curls himself up on his side, averting his eyes. He wanted to destroy him, but Cicero just tells himself that this feeling will go away...eventually. He didn't have the will to fight the elf, he simply closed his eyes and prayed for the hours to go by faster so Chac would come to his senses.

 

“Well fuck me, I guess I _will_ go away!” Chac slurs, getting off the bed to stagger his way to the bathroom once he remembered where it was. For once in a very long time, Cicero was glad he was alone. A whirlwind of angry thoughts fought with his dutiful heart, begged to let him know that what Chac did wasn't acceptable...but something still told Cicero that it was just a mistake, that sweet Listener wasn't in his right mind. He couldn't choose what to believe, and it took a great deal of his willpower not to weep. He'd gotten sick of crying a long time ago.

 

Instead he chose to laugh. All at once he found the situation to be hilarious, the situation seemed to fit well for a fool of the heart. Before Chac returned Cicero was cackling while laying limp on the bed, his freckled cheeks positively rosy. Time inches by, and Cicero loses touch with the outside world. He didn't notice the elf's return, stewing in a strange pit of madness and misery. 

 

Chac climbed into the bed, and Cicero had seemingly began to sing to himself, completely unaware. The elf leaned in and planted a soft kiss to Cicero's shoulder, but still the little man sings on, a simple humming tune to himself as his eyes rested closed. It almost sounded like a lullaby...

 

“Cicero. I'm sorry I yelled at you.” He kisses the man's shoulder again, but still the tune goes on. “You want me to sing you another song?” It was no use. Cicero wasn't listening, probably because he simply chose to ignore the fact that he was even there. The madman couldn't handle a conversation with the drugged elf, couldn't handle looking into his eyes. So he goes to a little place where no one could hurt him, and it was there he remained.

 

“...” Chac didn't know what to do, and there was little he could think of other than to climb behind the man and hug the naked man. Chac kissed the back of his neck, and closed his eyes while his mind flew high on the drug. Minutes tick by, and Cicero begins to feel the warmth of the elf's body spreading through his back, everywhere they touched. The jester's song went on repeating, over and over, until he could no longer avoid the reality that the Listener was there. He soon became silent. 

 

Cicero peeped open his eyes, and saw the Listener's hand reach up to interlock with his own. He could feel his warmth spread into his freezing fingers, and likewise the anger in Cicero's heart fades, whether it was right or not. He is reminded of every time the elf has embraced him this way, has made him feel so good when alone he would feel so distraught. Listener has hurt him, this is true, but Cicero couldn't avoid forgiving him for all of the circumstances... there was far too much weight behind Chac's love to make Cicero think to leave him for this. He's been through worse after all, and losing his only friend and lover would be the death of him. 

 

It sounded like Listener was sleeping. Cicero leaned back against him and snuggled himself in, staring at the stark differences of their skins. He wasn't alone now..and when sweet Listener wakes up with a clear mind, Cicero could tell him just what a monster he's been. Cicero hopes and prays that the elf would apologize, promise to never do this again... a single tear escapes him and runs across his temple, a sad smile on his face..but in his heart there was hope. Tremors ran through his naked body as the hours dwindle on, and Cicero finally finds relief as sleep claims him. Tomorrow there will be time for atonement..Sweet Listener won't do this again, he just  _knows_ that.

 


	2. Forgive

I can't lose him. I can't lose him. I can't lose him. 

This is the thought that repeated itself in Cicero's mind all night. He did what he felt he had to, and that the Listener didn't mean to....hurt him. But the fact kept trying to fight it's way out and talk some sense into the madman, he raped you. You said no and he didn't hold back an ounce of his strength. He needs to pay for what he's done. 

No...I can't lose him. I can't lose him. I can't lose him.

It went on like that for hours. Cicero was positive that if he where to lose the Listener for any reason, he'd completely slip away. His madness had healed so much, and the Jester was finally able to find peace in the Listener's company... he was the light in the darkness of his lunacy. It felt so good to be with him, and even if he loves his Mother the most, it was Listener who brought him this unparalleled comfort. He thought about these things, and they kept the clearer side of his mind at bay. Cicero's insanity battled in his mind, over and over, until he was so exhausted he simply blacked out. 

The sleep was not restful. When Cicero opened his eyes again, it was cold. Blue morning light shone in rays from the window beside their bed, and the smell of frost is fresh in the air. Blinking his painted eyes, he only has to look around the room once before he remembers what happened. Realization hit him like a brick, the pain shooting down his legs and across his core... It was all too real to him now. Peeking behind him, he's shocked by the sight of the Listener sleeping deeply, his arm still loosely thrown across Cicero's waist. 

He had to get out of here. Cicero felt the overwhelming desire to escape him, and he did so, inching his naked body away from Chac's until he was off the bed..He stared all the while, afraid of waking the sleeping beast. Cicero only stared at him for a few moments before he escapes, walking to the bathroom on freezing feet. Inside, he comes to face his reflection.. it was something that always unsettled him, and for some reason hurt now to see. He saw eyes that bore streaks of black down his cheeks, evidence of the tears he shed last night in pain. He'd worn the makeup to please the Listener, he remembers earlier that day painting it on with a song in his heart, eager for the elf's praise. 

The water had gone cold, but Cicero used it to clean the paint from his face, and he scrubbed until he knew it was all off. He took a rag and soaked it, a zing of pain running up his spine as he turned to try and look at his backside. Running his fingers across it revealed streaks of dried blood that trailed down his legs and cheeks, which Cicero silently wiped clean. He let out a swallowed cry when the rag met his hole, bloody and torn.. it hurts more than he's ever felt it before, this was the hardest he'd ever been fucked. He cleaned himself diligently until he simply ran out of things to do next..he needed to keep busy. It distracted him enough not to panic.

He lurked towards the bed, and silently he collected his clothing that lay scattered on the floor. His eyes constantly lingered on the elf, hearing him snore but otherwise he was utterly motionless. He couldn't be in here anymore..Cicero sneaks away to the foyer and puts on his clothes again, seeing how some had even torn. He was warm now, but he could be warmer...Cicero decides to light a fire before he sits beside it...and he stared. The madness in Cicero begged him to hurt himself, an urge he hasn't felt in so long and had not missed... His mind ran in circles once again, around this travesty that he already chose to forgive. 

Almost an hour goes by. Cicero's mind is so thick with conflict that he doesn't notice the loud and growling yawn from the bedroom door..Chac had awoken, and was quick to realize that something wasn't right. 

Chac's eyes where open before his mind woke, and Chac chose to simply yawn and wriggle his way around the bed until he comes to. It was awfully cold...who put out the fire? Was all he could think. It wasn't until he noticed that his pants where halfway down his thighs that something here wasn't right. Chac's drowsy hand reached down and squeezed his limp cock, and he let out a surprised yelp at how it hurt. 

It was then he remembered. Cicero wasn't with him, he remembers falling asleep with him though... “Cicero?” He grumbles, looking around with no sight of him. It was obvious to him now that they've had sex last night, the torn apart sheets and having his dick out didn't really hide this. “Cicero!” He calls again, trying to piece together what happened... and then it hit him, all the memories coming like small blips in and out. Cicero's final words last night, ones of anger.

The elf followed his nose to the fire, and was surprised to see Cicero's silhouette against it, the little man simply watching the flames. “Cicero?” He calls out, and is shocked by the yelp he lets out when he turns around, eyes wide as saucers. The Imperial staggered out of his chair and away, his features defaulting to a sheepish sort of smile.

“Listener! You're awake!” Everything was obviously not alright, Chac could already sense that- Cicero was pale as a ghost. He put two and two together and decided something bad happened.

“Cicero, what happened last night? After I smoked that skooma?” 

“Y..you danced for a while, ran out into the forest..and..” 

“Not that. Last night. I know we did something, I woke up with my pants down.” It's not that Chac didn't already know, he just needed to hear it spoken. 

Did Cicero really have the nerve to tell him? He was going to try and put it as gently as possible, but why? He doesn't know why. Just say it, you raped me. He should be screaming at him, but he's forgiven him hasn't he? 

“Well Listener, you made it quite clear to Cicero that you wanted to have him. I really ...really couldn't say no.” 

Chac's heart sank, recalling memories of Cicero laying on his back utterly limp while Chac ravaged him. Memories of his screams. The elf merely shook his head, realizing the gravity of what he's done. 

“Did you say no?”

“...I said no.” 

“Then I raped you.” Chac blurts out, the very word making Cicero flinch and nervously wring his hands together. Bit by bit Chac's ability to contain himself broke, the staggering realization that he'd hurt Cicero becoming stronger by the second. 

“That's a strong word, Listener. You didn't know any better.”

“Didn't know any better? Is that what you think happened? Cicero, I remember enough of what happened to know that it shouldn't have!” Chac was close to yelling and it frightened the Imperial, making him back away as if Chac where to strike. The very sight of it made the Listener want to mourn. 

“ Never once in my life did I plan on doing this to you, Cicero. Gods, How can you even stand to look at me?!” Chac's heart threatened to leap out of his throat, and he could feel the guilt begin to crush down upon him. He looked into the Imperial's eyes and knew he couldn't fix this, nothing could fix this. 

“I forgive you.” 

“No. Don't say that.” Chac walked away, holding his head in his hands as flares of panic start in his mind. “You can't forgive something like this, no. It's not right! I can't- I can't believe this is happening. This can't be happening!” Chac has never in his life been this way, this was an absolute stain upon his soul..committing a crime like this, and on one of his most beloved friends? This is unforgivable, and to hear his obedient friend so quickly forgive him is outrageous. 

“Listener, please...Just forget about it, hmm? It's all in the past!” Cicero could feel himself cracking the more he watched his lover get worked up, he needed a smile and a laugh to try and stop himself from breaking. This needed to turn into something they could look back on and laugh about now.

“NO! You don't understand, do you?! How could you forgive me you crazy fool, this is the one thing I promised I'd never do!” Chac had always worried that Cicero's servant-like behavior towards him, all the worshiping and boot licking, it all was getting to his head. He was beginning to treat Cicero like a sex object, as a real servant..it was only a matter of time before he pushed the limits of Cicero's obedience and violated him. 

Cicero backed away from him, startled by the elf's frantic tone- it was rare he ever saw Chac so twisted up. The Listener didn't pursue him, and all at once the culmination of guilt and regret pushed the elf over the edge. He took one more look at his victim and made for the door, Cicero left to once again watch as the elf vanished into the blinding snow- he thought about it, but soon decided he couldn't leave the one he loved alone, even if he'd been so cruel. Cicero chased him, not unlike an abused pup who still revered his master. 

Chac didn't stop walking until he met with a tree, his bare feet frozen solid by the time he collapsed at it's trunk. How could he have done this? How could he have grown so power hungry that he'd resort to forcing his little lover to submit to him when he obviously didn't want any of it? Chac felt like dog shit. He knows what it's like being on Cicero's side, getting raped is it's own pit of Oblivion, but to be the one who violated was something Chac could not stand for. Curling up into a tight ball, Chac relives his guilt over and over as wild winds flung his dreads about. 

“Listener! Listener, come back!” Chac refused to look up, burying his face into his knees to hide his wretched self away. He wasn't man enough to face Cicero, not like this. The sound of his voice came closer, and was so filled with worry that Chac couldn't stave off the lump forming in his throat. “Please come inside, Listener, being out here won't solve a thing! Please?” 

The sound of whipping winds drowned out his voice, but Cicero could make out just a few pitiful words.. “I'm so sorry” Is what they where, and they where the most honest words he'd ever heard. It was enough to quell Cicero's fear of him, and soon he was reaching out, pulling at the elf's arms which where wrapped tight around his head. He didn't budge, and Cicero merely sighed.

“I can't love you any less for this, it was just a mistake.” He decided to be honest in return, squatting down before the elf and trying his hardest to remove him from himself “Promise Cicero that you won't ever do this again, and we can move on, see?” Cicero was more than willing to make it work, the threat of losing his lover far overshadowed the fact that he'd been hurt. Cicero was not a stranger to pain after all, it was loneliness he feared most.

“...I promise.” Chac lifted his head and locked eyes with Cicero, and the Imperial was shocked stiff by what he saw..for the first time in his life he saw Chac openly weep, his face flushed and black eyes streaming. He felt guilt unlike any other, and the sight of beautiful Cicero just seemed to crack him even more. There was a span of time where nothing was said, the Imperial at a loss of what to say. But he had to say something.

“Come inside, let's figure this out.” 

He took the elf's hand into his own, and thankfully he is finally pulled to stand. Together they walked back to his home where the door remained open, and Cicero dutifully leans down to dust the snow off his lover's bare feet, touching them briefly to feel how frozen he was. He chose to concentrate on that, and not the pain that ran through his body every step he took. 

Listener walked his way towards the fire and sat at his chair, head in his hands..he decided it was time to grieve for what he's done. He cried openly, his very bones aching with guilt. Cicero watched him, crossing his arms and at a loss of what to do- he didn't enjoy being the victim, but seeing Chac weep was something he could barely stand to watch. He's cried countless times in the Listener's arms in the past, perhaps it was time he returned the favor.

“Listener, if you cry any more Cicero is sure to follow!” He calls out, sympathetic to Chac's emotion. He came to Chac's side and knelt down to wrap his arms around the elf, feeling him flinch hard...this was going to be painful, but Cicero knows it's something they can overcome. The more he thought about it and saw how Chac suffered, the more he realizes that forgiving him was easy to do. 

Chac only had to think for a moment before wrapping his arms around Cicero, feeling the smallness of him. He could only promise to never hurt him again, after he'd made it his goal to ease his suffering, he never things would come to this. It's time he started seeing Cicero as a man and not a thing, this was the most pressing wakeup call he could have ever dreamed of. 

“This will never happen again. I promise you, Cicero.” He wanted to say more, that he wasn't worth it, that this was something unforgivable that Cicero should never speak to him again...but he knew better. They needed each other, and that's a fact they can't deny, both choosing to embrace in silence until Chac could find it in his heart to stop weeping. Cicero leans in just long enough to plant a kiss to the elf's temple, one that proved he doted on him still. Chac makes a vow at that moment to always reconsider the next time he takes advantage of Cicero's servitude.

Despite the hour that passed and the silence that ensued, both couldn't escape the waves of heartache that crept up when they least expected it. Cicero rested in Chac's arms, seated upon his lap with his eyes staring as far away as his mind. Being surrounded by the elf didn't feel as comforting as it once did, despite how hard he tried to forget. Chac felt no better, in silent anguish as he processed what he'd done over and over. He felt words of confession cropping up in his throat and it wasn't long before he broke their silent spell.

“I love you Cicero. Regardless of whatever's happened.” He thought briefly about the Nord in Solitude Cicero had no clue of, as of right now all he could think of was the Imperial he loved and hurt. Cicero made a noise in his throat, feeling him curl up tighter upon his lap, a small hand reaching up to press against Chac's collar. 

“You never say that to me.” Cicero knew the elf loved him, he was the only man in Tamriel who did, who even came close. He rarely spoke those words, but to hear them was a breath of relief.

“It's true. I should say it more often. I love you.” Chac took a nervous moment before leaning down and kissing the Imperial, feeling his body tighten for a painful moment. It was obvious the unstable man still didn't trust him, this was something he knew wouldn't change for a time, just as his trust in him has irreversibly been tarnished. Gods know how Cicero will react tomorrow, or the next day, he was as unpredictable as Skyrim's snows..he can only hope that he understands how sorry Chac is. So very sorry.


End file.
